Deserving An Infinity
by Mildred Graves
Summary: I have seen Hazel Grace Lancaster more times than she deserves.


_Written for Carrie._

**. . .**

* * *

I have seen Hazel Grace Lancaster more times than she deserves.

We are good acquaintances, she and I; we know each other well. In hospitals and in thoughts we remain a constant in each others' existence.

* * *

*** * * A PERCEPTION OF TIME * * ***

**It has been many, many years since I last saw the Book Thief**

* * *

But what are years to me? Leisel Meminger she stays with me even now, though time wears away at the world she once lived in.

Hazel Lancaster is no thief, but she _is_ a victim.

* * *

*** * * THINGS THAT HAVE BEEN STOLEN FROM HA****ZEL LANCASTER * * ***

**A future, a childhood, the ability to run freely, **

**the ability to love freely, time, and a young man named **

**Augustus Waters**

* * *

I have seen her is hospital beds, passing her slowly as she watched me with wide eyes. Always carrying a different child in my arms, I would look at the young girl and wonder when I would come for her. Twice I reached for her, an orange soaked sky first, and a poorly erased grey blackboard sky second.

_Take me, damn it!_ She raged at me both times but the doctors ushered me away and Hazel always managed to survive.

* * *

*** * * A FACT ABOUT AUGUSTUS WATERS * * ***

**His soul sat up for me when ****I finally came for him**

* * *

And when he did he showed me things.

Something about sad swing set. Something about a table for two in Amsterdam. Metaphors and basketball. A friend who went blind, a girlfriend whose mind betrayed her. Something about oblivion and an infinity.

A girl named Hazel Grace.

* * *

I saw her lit up like an angle. Smiling, crying, laughing, reading, sleeping.

* * *

"So I'm off to Somewhere with a capital S, then?" He asks me.

"Somewhere." I agree.

And he is quite and he is thoughtful and I know he has another question.

"You know my girlfriend Hazel Lancaster?"

And I nod.

* * *

*** * * THE LAST REQUEST OF A DEAD MAN * * ***

**Give her as much time **

**as you possibly can**

* * *

I do not tell him that I have no control over these things; I simply promise that I will. Because, damn it, she deserves more time and if I had a way of returning to her what is rightfully hers I would.

* * *

I would, Augustus, I promise you I would.

* * *

Hazel is a sitting up sort as well, I learn this three years later.

And she shows me things as well; Isaac (still cancer free and dating a girl who he knows is beautiful without having to see because any girl who not only is brilliant at video games but loves him completely and wholly must be gorgeous), Hazel's parents (her mom out of college and still with her husband), Gus' parents (still together as well), the mall with Kaitlyn, and many happy weekends picnicking in the park with her family.

* * *

Small things are what infinities are made of.

* * *

And Hazel smiles sadly at me. She shakes my hand, "We've been dancing around each other for a while now, haven't we?"

I agree somberly.

* * *

"Somewhere with a capital S?" She asks me.

* * *

"Yes." I tell her. Because somehow I know that this is true, that there must be a Somewhere for people like Hazel Lancaster and Augustus Waters where they can have their long deserved infinity.

* * *

"And Gus?"

"He's waiting for you." I promise the girl. I know she is critical of the thought of a God and Heaven and Somewhere, but she has learned to accept hope and that is all she needs.

* * *

So we walk on, her and I, Death and the girl who deserves more time to a place where time has no meaning.

* * *

*** * * THE WAY HAZEL LANCASTER LEAVES ME * * ***

**She thanks me for the escort**

**She takes her first lungful of air by herself in years**

**She smiles**

**. . .**

* * *

**A/N: **I've had this idea for a while but I was pushed over an emotional cliff tonight upon discovering the new TFIOS movie poster (if you haven't seen it yet I suggest you GOOGLE IT IMMEDIATELY) and it empowered me to finally type it up.

For those of you who can personally relate to having a life threatening disease or know someone who can, please know that you're in my prayers.

God bless and a warm handshake in thought,

~Millie Graves


End file.
